Fearless Expression of Gentleness (# 1833)

1.My friend Eos sent me this passage yesterday:

“Over the centuries, there have been many who have sought the ultimate good and have tried to share it with their fellow human beings. To realize it requires immaculate discipline and unflinching conviction. Those who have been fearless in their search and fearless in their proclamation belong to the lineage of master warriors, whatever their religion, philosophy, or creed. What distinguishes such leaders of humanity and guardians of human wisdom is their fearless expression of gentleness and genuineness—on behalf of all sentient beings. We should venerate their example and acknowledge the path they have laid for us. They are the fathers and mothers of Shambhala, who make it possible, in the midst of this degraded age, to contemplate enlightened society.”

Chogyam Trungpa’s Shambhala: The Sacred Path of the Warrior, p 211 (last paragraph of the last chapter)

Enough said.

Quieter (# 1832)

1.I was not able to reach the inner love/light place last night. My mind spent much of the night trying to remember the name of my cousin’s horse of many years ago. She galloped to my rescue and my grabbed the bridle when a “gentle” horse ran away with me hanging on to the saddle for dear life.

2.It turns out that Julian of Norwich was not limiting God to being our mother:

“There I see that God rejoices that He is our Father, God rejoices that He is our Mother, and God rejoices that He is our one true Spouse and that our soul is His beloved wife. And Christ rejoices that He is our brother and Jesus rejoices that He is our Savior.

“There are five high joys as I understand in which He wills that we rejoice, praising Him, thanking Him, loving Him, endlessly blessing Him.”

Julian, Chapter 52

Her wording was suggestive and I did think about the divine in close family members.

3.I have lately been aware of how much we have learned from the many people coming before us, going all the way back to the hunter/gatherers. This includes all the tools we have to do things that would have amazed our earliest fore-bearers. In that sense all these humans were our mothers in a past life in their discovering things for our comfort and creativity.

Practicing Lovefulness (# 1831)

1.Julian says:

“We may not be blissfully saved until we are truly in peace and in love, for that is our salvation”

and:

“But we are not blissfully safe in possessing our endless joy until we are wholly in peace and in love–that is to say, fully gratified with God and all his work and with all his good judgments, and loving and peaceable with ourselves and with our fellow Christians*, and with all that God loves, as love pleases. And this is God’s goodness carried out in us.”

both on page 223. *Julian’s world was limited to Christians, so I feel safe to substitute “human beings”

2.Something interesting happened last night while sleeping or pretending I was sleeping. When my devil mind would begin obsessing on worries and building up stress, I found I could simply “pray” the word “love” and connect to this inner place of light and compassion. The love would well up inside me and give me a great sense of peace and bliss. I used the word “pray” instead of “mediate” or “cultivate” because of the Cloud of Unknowing author who recommended praying using one word like “God” or “Love”.

3.I am intrigued and delighted with how quickly I have reached this state of wonder; I wonder if it is connected to the Play of Being practice of meditating for 9 seconds every 15 minutes (give or take 24 hours or so). At PaB I think the emphasis was to look, see and explore; at least it was for me. Maybe if I had meditated on love, it would have been different.

4.On my way to the computer this morning, I recalled the editor of Julian of Norwich’s Revelations note that a passage was the first hint of Julian’s equation of God’s love as mother’s love and God as our mother. Some Buddhists believe that all sentient beings have been our mother in one our previous lifetimes and that we should treat all beings as our mother. If we think of God as our mother, and that all beings have God within them, is that the same thing?

ssages from p.223

Practicing Mindfulness in the Woods (# 1830)

Breathing in, I hear the birds singing,
Breathing out, I hear the birds singing.
Breathing in, I see the tree soaring above me,
Breathing out, I see the tree soaring above me.
Breathing in, I smell the earth,
Breathing out, I smell the earth.
Breathing in, I feel the warmth of the summer day,
Breathing out, I feel the warmth of the summer day.
Breathing in, I notice the leaves turned to capture the rays of the sun,
Breathing out, I notice the leaves turned to capture the rays of the sun.
Breathing in, I think of the WPA workers who laid out this park some 90 years ago,
Breathing out, I think of the WPA workers who laid out this park some 90 years ago.
Breathing in, I watch the patches of sunlight in the path,
Breathing out, I watch the patches of sunlight in the path.
Breathing in, I appreciate the presentation of the appearance of this day as the presence of Being,
Breathing out, I appreciate the presentation of the appearance of this day as the presence of Being.

Ordinary Time (# 1829)

1.For some time I thought my different perceptions and actions were the result of a right brain, left brain thing. Well I don’t know much about that stuff. But I do sense a kind of coming together. I can report that not much has changed other than I find it a little bit easier to become mindful and maybe a bit more understanding toward people I interact with. In general I having trouble finding the right words.

2. Two passages of Julian of Norwich stood out last night. It is interesting the editor chose to use “self” maybe “self knowledge” could have been used.

‘We can have knowledge of our self in this life by continued help and strength of our own transcendent human nature”.

Julian, Revelations, p. 209

“But our good Lord, the Holy Spirit (who is endless life dwelling in our soul), full safely keeps us, and makes peace in the soul and brings it to rest by grace, and makes it submissive and reconciles it to God.”

Julian, Revelations, p. 217

What Once was Lost (# 1828)

1.What once was lost, has now been found (paraphrase of line from Amazing Grace). When I grew out of my childhood faith in a anthropomorphic God I lost touch with the God in me. I felt a tremendous loss for many, many years. While I drew from the wisdom in Buddhism and some other traditions, I knew what I had once had in the Christian tradition so I kept coming back, going back and forth. For some time I have been reading the Medieval Christian mystics especially Meister Eckhardt and lately Julian of Norwich. For the past few days I have begin to look more closely at the Society of Friends, especially Rufus Jones (1863-1948). It was his description of quieting all thoughts to find the inner light that worked. Surprisingly, it came to me very quickly. I had been using this inner resource somewhat misinterpreting what it was. I feel whole again. I can take this God-likeness or Buddha Nature with me when I leave my home, in other words, walk with God. Now I need to work on this and find out what it means. Hopefully, a more loving, compassionate person.

2.Hymn by George Croly that maybe comes closely to what I am feeling at the moment.

Spirit of God, descend upon my heart;
Wean it from earth; through all its pulses move.
Stoop to my weakness, mighty as Thou art,
And make me love Thee as I ought to love.

…

Teach me to feel that Thou art always nigh;
Teach me the struggles of the soul to bear,
To check the rising doubt, the rebel sigh;
Teach me the patience of unanswered prayer.

Some Place New (# 1827)

Adams Rubble: How are you doing?
*** bows respectfully.
Adams Rubble: Not wanting to kill me off?
***: Forgive me. I did not understand.
Adams Rubble: You are new ground but do not mistake the moon for the finger pointing to the moon
***: I don’t think you need to worry about that but thank you. I do think I need to be careful not to rush this. It does seem to be momentous.
Adams Rubble: You have lots of tools to use.
***: It is most interesting that it was the method obtained from the Society of Friends that allowed me to quiet my mind to see an inner light. I worked on it off and on all day. What a surprise to find you.
Adams Rubble: You used me to play with Being.
***: A spirit guide.

A Holy and Celebratory Rite. (# 1826)

1.Dearworthy reader, taking a probable temporary break from the intense, personal mysticism of Julian of Norwich to the more modern Protestant mysticism of the Society of Friends (Quakers), I have been led to Rufus Jones (1853-1948). Jones helped mend a serious break among the Friends, founded the Friends Service Committee to aid conscientious objectors, and argued for the cessation of missionary efforts and a greater respect of other religious traditions after his with meeting Mahatma Gandhi.

Out of a number of books available in the marketplace, I chose Rufus Jones, Selected Writings, “selected” by Kerry Walters who wrote the Preface and Introduction. (Maryknoll, NY, Orbis Books: 2001). Most of this post summarizing Jones and the mysticism of the Society of Friends is indebted to Walters’ introduction.

2.Kerry Walters begins the introduction with an account of a legend of a student seeking enlightenment from a Zen Master. This story appears to be generic and varies in details even that it is a martial arts instructor doing the teaching. In any case the student wants to know how long it will take to reach enlightenment if he becomes a pupil of the master. The master answers “ten years”. “But what if I work night and day and study hard?” asks the student. In that case, it will take twenty or thirty years is the reply.

3.Apparently there are two ways to cultivate “new eyes” in order to see the “essential realities” in Christian mysticism. One way is to eliminate everything that is “not God” in order to have a direct experience with the divine. “Self” is included. Attachments by any other name are as much a hindrance. Pseudo-Dionysos and Teresa of Avila are given as examples of mystics who followed this route. Jones believed that only a few people would be able to do the first way. The second approach is “affirmation mysticism”. Jones believed this approach was compatible with the early church. A person is awakened to “God-likeness” becoming sensitive to openings in everyday life. Both approaches are familiar to Play-as-Being explorers. The first is dropping self and attachments; the second sounds like APAPB.

4.One does not go it alone but with the church as the body of Christ. One is nurtured by the group. Ahh, the Christian sangha.

5.There is no inner life that is not outer life. The “most mundane” act becomes a holy and celebratory rite. One performs loving acts.

6.There is one thing about Friends’ meetings that I misunderstood. When Quakers meditate at their meetings, they are supposed to let go of all thoughts in order to allow the inner light to shine through. They are not supposed to be sitting thinking, even about what they are going to say. Anything that is spoken is to come from the divine place after all the space in the mind has been cleared of thoughts. Rufus Jones learned this as a young man when he prefaced some remarks, “I have been thinking…”. After the meeting an elder took Jones aside and severely corrected the young man.

7.(Later) I have been looking over the blog yesterday and today. I noticed twice I had dreams that I thought were warnings that my death was imminent; instead someone else died. We are still mourning the most recent after more than a year. It feels like an empty place in my chest, in the house and in the world. It is there every day but we go on.

8.The entry above about the zen master (#2) has me thinking about my own goals. I had a specific goal when I first started Play as Being which has long been met. More recent goals are much less clear but I feel there are things I do not understand but that I believe are understandable. Maybe I need to better heed Julian’s God and not worry my pretty little head. I feel that I have recorded insights in this blog and then forgotten all about them. I am working over the blog now to test that theory.

If I had to choose whether to be more at peace or to be a more compassionate person, which would I choose? The latter, of course. Enlightenment doesn’t enter the competition for me. Yeah, I wonder what it is from time to time. I just believe it is beyond my reach. I am fine with that but I do regret my shortcomings on the love part. There is always contrition :). There is a hint in #5 above: that the “most mundane” act can become a holy and celebratory rite. I wonder if I can remember that for a day.

Margins of being (# 1825)

1.I have been led to Rufus Jones who wrote: “We do not know how far the margins of being reach”. I did not include the whole quote because Jones goes on to talk about borders. Borders!!?! We don’t need no stinkin’ borders. One’s being mixes with the being around us long before it comes close to the margins (if there are any). Thich Nhat Hanh calls it interbeing. Buddhists put it as “this is that” and “that is this”. It is stimulating to think of one’s larger footprint. One’s karmic actions, compassionate or selfish, go outward and affect an unknown number of people. We might realize this when a loved one dies and we begin to hear from others how important that loved one affected their life. It is unpleasant to think that maybe some people might be relieved or happy if we died. No matter how awful we have behaved, we have the opportunity to make people happy at the end of our final act. For some reason I am recalling Julian of Norwich: God always makes it right in the end.

Is this post blogworthy?

Notes on reading Julian of Norwich (#1824)

1.”Contrition” – an interesting word. We do something that hurts another. If we are able to understand the other’s pain, there is contrition; don’t want to do that again. Julian wrote:

“contrition makes us pure
compassion makes us ready
true yearning for God makes us worthy”

p.185

2.

“Our gracious Lord does not wish His servants to despair because of frequent or gracious falling because our falling does not prevent Him loving us.”

p.185

3.

 “Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you.”

John 15:15 KJV

4. God says to Julian: “In all thy woe I have always been with you” p.187

5.

“My dearly beloved, I am glad thou hast come to me. In all thy woe, I have always been with you, and now thou seest my loving and we are one-ed in bliss”

6. For Julian the metaphor of the Trinity was:

Father = power (creation, resurrection, etc.)

Son – wisdom (Jesus as mother)

Holy Spirit – Love (has biblical origins; rabbinical teachings)