6. F. I was watching a PBS program on Chimpanzees tonight. These were animals rescued from dreadful conditions, many infected with aids from experiments. It was heart wrenching but there was a bright side. The was a person who was self-described as a red-neck who had initially been worried about bringing HIV infected Chimpanzees into the area. But he had learned love from the chimpanzees and had managed to transfer that love to other people as well.
5. F. This morning at PaB I realized why I am in a bit of a rut. I haven’t allowed myself to break through to see timelessness, the eternal. Maybe I need to follow others into Pema’s exercise.
4. Gr. Yes, I AM!
3. Woke up with a fair amount of energy and I am back from a moderately long bike ride. (Lots of qualifiers there). When we put aside out identities, attachments, etc. the energy is there for us.
2. TGT. As I prepare to get a bit more sleep, I think too how it is enough to be alive. All of these petty troubles, caused by identities, attachments and the like, fade away when focused on that thought. I am alive for another day! I AM.
1. I am awake early this morning thinking about role playing. My role playing has ast time been radical but mainly involves me living through situations looking from a slightly different angle. For the first time, my new exploration is making demands on others to play along, to follow a script. This need for others to play a role has giving me some pause. The simple solution is to modify the exploration in such a way as to reduce that need. I can see this morning there is no need to make demands on anyone. The thought flashes through my mind “How foolish you have been”. Yes, the script needs to go.
I think once again about how my firends have helped me see things.
Hmmm. The script. Earlier in my explorations I struggled with a script that had been written for the late fall and winter months of my life. The role playing blasted away at my assumptions about myself. I realized my memory had been selective and it was one of my identities I feared would be out of control. Through role play I learned to see that identity and others.
Ah, but what emerged? Am I becoming attached to this other identity? Here’s the rub. How do I know what is identity and what is me, the I AM? Do I already know the answer to that?
At the same time I feel compelled to this exploration. It is a gift. All I have to do is appreciate the gift and see what happens. It will be no more real than a movie. Wow, the movie analogy! This is so very close. It may feel real to the mind and so obviously be not real.
