6. F. pause. I didn’t pause enough today and wasn’t calm but I did get alot done. I am sort of in an in between time. Not totally sure what is next. I have chores that have been put off that need attending.
5. F. pause…thinking about the various exercises and which might be most effective for me now
4. F. I try to step outside and look at myself at the keyboard as a human being connected to other humanity
3. Gr. For friends…for the usual things
2. TGT. I take this slowly and think about it…Another day in which to be alive.
1. Dream Fragments (not sure where one ended and another began): I spent a bit of time selling things at various times in history. Much of the time I had a horse and wagon filled with wares traveling from place to place. I was in Europe and United States coinciding with times and places some of my ancestors lived. At one point I was with a friend and insisted the friend look at a shop and pointed out how that my grandmother’s candy store must have looked a bit like that (I never knew this grandmother or the store). Later I was breaking up cardboard boxes and the last one was a pizza box which transported me to some undergraduate academic place where I was at a meeting. I got hungry and went to the dining hall. They were cleaning up and there wasn’t much to eat but I got a pizza and a few other little things. I went to get in line and saw a cashier I knew who was waving to me. I went to check out there but someone saw us and rushed to go first. He was buying a single hotdog and was taking free rolls from a bin and slowly cutting up the rolls and the hotdogs and arranging them on the bread. The cashier and I tried to hurrying him up but he said he knew his rights and he we would get in trouble if we tried to interfere. He then started to work more slowly. Another cashier was coming back from break and made eye contact and waved me over to his machine. While I was moving over two of the slices of my pizza fell off my tray onto the floor. I picked them up and put them in the trash. Then I started to move out to find a table and there were crowds everywhere. I had to walk through a narrow trellis. I could get though but could not fit the tray through so I lifted it over the top. When I did all but two slices of the pizza fell on the ground and I had to through it away. I was left with just two little pieces for my lunch.
I have no idea what any of that means but it is suggested by a discussion of distant ancestors and then thinking about their movements. So am I connecting to those who lived before?
