9. I am sailing home as a first step to my new journey given to me by Pema tonight. I will summarize tomorrow morning but for now I enjoy the wind whistling through my hair. The crew worries about trying to find new jobs in this tough economy. I assure them I will stand by them but I too worry a bit. It is so hard to leave the familiar and try something new. Am I up to it? I look up at the stars, feeling much more than a bit small at the thought of the tremendous space up there. Help me make this new task meaningful. Help me to learn about the “total openess of appearance”, to understand beyond the presence narrowness of my perception.
8. ZrM. From a card given to us from Martie: “Certainly we can’t always transform pain from meaningless suffering into a sense of spaciousness, but at least we can practice seeing into the layers of beliefs and resistance that hold our suffering in place, thereby coming closer to gently opening to what is. But seeing into the layers of beliefs and resistance is often difficult, because our conditioning can go very deep. Yet, left unexplored, these beliefs that are most deeply hidden are the very beliefs that run our lives. ” Tomorrow it will be clearer how timely this is for me. For now as I try to concentrate through my headache and aching eyes, it is enough to try to appreciate what this bug is doing to my body. I must see the past the bug; it will be temporary.
7. Did not write much today…not sure what I may have learned or done. We are supposed to get watched by a spoon. I don’t have one right now but there is a little Buddha watching me. This one is in a box and amde of something which is whitish. The Buddha may be a bit grossed out with my sneezing.
6. …and selves, you know who you are, Pema said to tell you that what you are is “far, far better than existing”
5. on “selves” from Pema:
Pema Pera: well, yes, they have a purpose within the story of your life
Pema Pera: but not outside
Pema Pera: and the you who you really are is outside
Pema Pera: beyond
Pema Pera: enjoying the story but not as part of the story
Pema Pera: once you begin to see that, you are free
Pema Pera: and you can help others to find that freedom
4. F. A very bad cold. Trying to appreciate the feeling but rather I seem to be appreciating the fact that I usually feel well. One thing is that the lousy feeling is in the body and not the self. The self is limited to complaining about it.
3. I am out of sync with the commercial Christmas world which spends two months saturating us with Christmas, and then just as I pick up some interest, it is no longer cool. Now a week of thinking of all the things we have lost to have a reason to stock up on spirits for New Year’s Eve. But in the church calendar, Christmas is just the first day and culminates 12 days later with the three wise men. Oh you wise guys in the commercial sector, you missed an opportunity.
2. Gr.
1. TGT. Remembering it is enough to just be alive.
