9. Dreaming. I awake in the middle of the night and realize I have been dreaming and in the dream, I (not Adams) have been talking with a few PaB members about how Adams relates to the group.
8. F. Listening to the crickets again as I prepare for sleep. It has been a good day in PaB today. There is a question that is somewhat paradoxical. Is there something else? If I look for it I am helping God. If I don’t look for it, I may be postponing seeing it. Today I haven’t felt it is there. Is my mind playing games? Help me to see the things I do not see and those which I may be hiding from myself. Help me to know what I do not know. Help me to be a better person
7. F. Not seeing anything differently
6. F. Seeing from the porch. Warm day, humidity relatively high, but blue sky and big fluffy clouds. Light breeze gently moving branches of trees and shrubs but different places at different times. One solitary bird is chirping away in the distance but there is an echo from the opposite direction. There is a sound of a distant air conditioner or fan. Now and then a car or voices invade on the otherwise tranquil moment.
5. F. The fish tank gurgles on; the birds are silent
4. F. Had a little break for a visit in RL. Now what?
3. F. Two hours of PaB meetings. Taking deep breath
2. Dream. I fell back asleep after writing this morning and woke up in a terrible panic from a dream. In fact I tried my best not to get up because I wanted to resolve it. Usually I try to write down a dream before I figure out what it means but this one is different because of the message I am inferring from it. I have been realizing that I can’t be as open anymore in the log, at least for now. It may be it is time to stop the log. Possibly a change will be enough. I was pretty open with what was happening to me but now it is starting to involve relationships and I can not blog about them. I suspected this was happening yesterday in a PaB session with Pia and Storm. Both listened to me and as I talked I had my own realizations and then both of them had an observation that I have taken to heart, so to speak.
In the dream I (RL me) was driving some family members on a bus and we had stopped overnight. One of the family members, who we were transporting, and I went to get on the bus and go some place first. I started the bus and the other person never got on. I drove around through crowds of people (try driving a huge bus through groups of people) but could not find the person. Then after a long search, I parked the bus and tried to find the room in the complx. I had a long search until I finally found the room on a back stair case. Everyone was gone; the only record they had been there was the trash. I was panicing and wanted to find everyone before I got up but my body roused me from the bed and left it unresolved.
The bus is suggestive in itself. On the surface, they are gone and didn’t need me this weekend but I didn’t need a dream to tell me that and it doesn’t bother me. I have been concerned with life’s transition moments and I think the dream may be telling me that. I also think it is about the blog because I have been thinking something is wrong. The blog is the bus and the others should not be on that trip. Maybe the bus should stay parked at the inn and I should walk now.
1. TGT. A quite morning here to start another day on this beautiful planet. Remembering to be grateful
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I think that yesterday I was trying to help God. Today I will try a different tact.
