10. F. I love the night sounds of late August; the whole outside is pulsating and the sound penetrates every room of the house.
9. I complete my walk through the rest of the house. It seems to me happy memories here, at least for me. I hope for everyone else. This afternoon Pia made a comment about whether my last insiight had anything to do with “aversion”. My response was no. It has me wondering though. In a way it did.
8. F. Someday I will just be writing drivel. Is it today? I hope my friends tell me. Tomorrow I will have to do more of my reading.
7. F. Fifteen minutes later I stop and pause. I have been walking around part of the house. Movement is good; I am hoping I can bike by September 2. I am doing something wrong on the seeing I think. Help me to see what I do not see. Help me to know what I do not know. I think of Storm’s analogy of seeing like taking a car out of gear and letting it drift. Hmmm. I find that happens when I sleep. Sometimes the looking beforehand is what triggers the response later. I decide to stroll though the rest of the house and think about God or Being seeing. Ah, yes, I should let God watch me play. I listen to the sound of crickets and the pump from a fish tank, two parallel sounds. Reality! This is the moment. I listen for a while. One thought keeps coming and that is that I should not be having thoughts. Ta\hanks alot! A clock and a refrigerator in the adjacent room join the other two making a quartet. No, it is the crickets accompanied by a trio. Have to close my eyes and concentrate to hear the clock.
6. F. [Ah, my barking friend reminds me of compassion].
5. Seeing with ears [or listening to Gretchaninov]. The other night we were talking about the differences of seeing with eyes as opposed to other senses. I definitely feel see with my ears and nose and mouth and fingers. As with other seeing, do we attach thoughts to those images? But these sounds are man-made. There is a composer and there are performers. Still I think the music itself is Being through them. But when I listen to the music and feel connected, is that a thought? or is that a connection to Being or God? This music intends for me to connect with God. Did the composer feel a connection when writing it or was it simply the composer knew how to manipukate people? Does it make a difference if I feel connected? It would to some people. They might feel tricked. Still, I think it does not matter a whit. The reality is the music, not the creation of it, i think.
4. Seeing. I walk around this old house taking in my initial observations. I have been much blessed.
3. F. It is a bit sad walking through an empty house when everyone has departed. I sat or stood on the sidelines this morning watching the flurry of activity as the car was being packed, not at the center of the activity. In someways I was glad and in another a bit sad about it. Thinking back to Adams’ role not being done. Do I have to look closely at this later part of my life. I am almost afraid to do it because I feel pretty good about it. That task is done and I feel I did OK, didn’t I? What am I not seeing? I have an eery feeling that walking around the empty house this weekend is going to tell me. Do I want to know?
2. F. I begin to think about the trio I saw on waking. The last thought I had on the blog last night was about the Trinity. This seems suggestive. Might Adams be the spirit, myself who will die be death, and Being eternity. Last night as was imagining the Holy Spirit, I forgot my spirit guide. If so, I have been wrong again. I keep thinking that Adams’ role is done with each insight and each time I seem to be wrong.
1. TGT. Another beautiful morning here to start the day.
* * * * *
I woke up dreaming about walking in second life. The last thing I heard was “There goes Adams, she is lovely”. Then another voice saying “Don’t you know she is walking with Being and Death”. [lots to think about with that one; too early to comment; maybe never]
Started a little early this morning with the 1:00 sesssion. It is interesting to see the results of attending many sessions again after pulling away a bit. As a group we seem to be sometimes on and sometime off. II have a different reaction after each meeting. They are so incredibly different. I know that I can’t keep this up so enjoying the opportunity for now.
