Saying no to new Attachments – 46th Daily Log

9. F. Help me to open my mind to new ways of seeing. Help me to understand how I am part of You. Help me to see past all the things blocking my view. Help me to understand, feel, know. I have been touched now twice now but still I know I am missing understanding. Please be patient with me and show me how to know the rest. Amen

8. F. Remembering to sooth the attachments crying for attention which I forgot at this morning’s session. “There, there resentment and suspicion, everything is going to be OK. Thank you for your input, which was important to me. I think your concerns were addressed. No go out and play and thanks”

7. F. Back to my assignment. Help me to see what I don’t see. Help me to feel what I don’t feel. Help me understand what I do not understand. Help me know what I don’t know. Help me to focus in on reality and to know what is not real. Amen

6. F. In afternoon session I talked about how my AV has helped me leapfrog some of my identity/attachments. As I thought more about our discussion about speaking out in SL as opposed to RL, I am wondering if body language might provided some impediment to open, frank discussion. People can give off intimidating signals. Of course smiles also can be encouraging but we can provide the smiles so easily in SL. Maybe some of us smile more in SL. As far as the AV’s role, Joseph Campbell used to talk about how myths helped us in life’s transitions. We have so little of myth in our busy 20c lives. I am wondering if my AV has helped me in my ongoing transition in helping me first, to act without, then to actually shed, some of my obsolete identity/behaviors that are no longer relevant as my life changes.

5. F. I make my request. I wait. Nothing. What am I not hearing? What am I not seeing? Who do I think I am? What do I think I am?

4. F. The assignment to ask God to come through the door has not yet been lifted. God has announced he is in the room. I start thinking of, and then, listen to Mario Lanza singing “I’ll Walk with God”. But God was rocking a cradle. Do I need to learn to walk? Mario Lanza also sang a beautiful “Slumber Song”. This is nice but seems to be going nowehere

3. F. Getting back to Saturday’s experience I am drawn to a baby, not only as a symbol of dropping all identities/attachments, but also as a symbol of beginning, of new. Also a fragile life in need of gentle nurturing. Put away your hammers now

2. F. Lingering resentment and suspicion are two identity/attachments that are pointing me away from my experience Saturday night. I discussed these in the 7:00 am PaB session today. Now is the time to focus on the present; I understand that in a way I never did before

1. TGT. I am alive

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It was a calm night and a new day. The trip to my experience Saturday night was one that took me backward through my life to the “I can’t” left over from my teenage years and then back to the baby of Saturday night. I am somewhat amazed at the linear-ness of it…or does it just seem linear?

I can’t go much further back in linear time so “I guess I’ll have to do it while I’m here” (old Phil Ochs song).