The New Experience – 42nd Daily Log

11. F. As an experiment I try the same process I did in #8. I get to the soaring part and nothing happens. I fly into the air myself and try to look down of the earth but what I see looks like SL this time. OK, it was special last time, not to be disappointed that it did not happen again so soon or ever again. I am still somewhat worn out from the last time.

10. F. I feel very fortunate to have had this mystical-like experience. On one level I want to feel guilty about having it, with so little effort, but I know that guilt is an identity and would only serve to block future experiences. I do think it is incomplete. It was beautiful and exhausting but I instinctively feel there is more. Could that have been my open door?

[Long break here]

[Thinking about number 8 below. The floating feels like the beginning of a mystical experience, something I never felt before. I think the God on the cloud is just a quickly provided metaphor because I do not yet have a clear vision of what Being/God is. It was a bit like a dream except for 2things: 1) I was fully awake and 2) I am weak afterward. Was it my subconscious though?]

9. F. I smile when I stop. Still a little weak;Just a pause; back to work

8. YSBS. I can imagine my relative physical importance to the world around me, i.e. seeing how I look to Being. I am a part of Being. I do a quick listening scan around my body looking for God/Being. My chest..I sense my lungs expanding/contracting, my heart beating. My head [Storm feels the top of his head off...is that opening the door?]…hmmm, my head seems empty [no snickers please], I scan around the rest of my body..my arms, one by one, my legs, one by one, feet, one by one. I scan around the surface of my body. I feel like I am floating now. My eyes are closed. I feel very light. I can picture my self floating upward into space…up, up, through an opening in the clouds toward the sun, and then I pass out of sight from below. But I am still connected. I change cameras and try to get back into my body in space but I can not see where I am…I am in the body but do not see. Is that a white-bearded God on a cloud? God no 1. He smiles at me. I smile back and keep smiling. When God smiles, it is contagious. …but then I am interrupted and everything is gone. I feel a little weak

7. F. Expanding on #5 below, Each of us affects the conversation in some way by our presence. Our presence affects others in the world…in a better way if we live compassionately, love our neighbors…doing unto others as we would have them do unto us. Is that connected with our place on earth and somehow to what Being is seeing when it sees in our direction? (Wullll Clar’nce, we don’t want to do “It’s a Wonderful Life” again now, do we)

6. YSBS. What does God/Being see? Yesterday a large storm over a large area. People and other beings scrambling for cover. Flooding. A small tornado touched down. Trees toppling. Some people affected by the flooding, trees down, power out, houses damaged…traffic accidents. Others hardly mindful of the weather at all. How do I fit in there? Very aware of the weather, awed by its power and mildly inconvenienced. The storm knocked at my house door and whirled around my body. Are you really there at my mind’s door, God/Being?

5. F. Reading the logs of recent PaB sessions I would had attended, if I were not taking a little break, is a real exercise in listening. I see places where I might have distracted and I am glad I didn’t interrupt. I am able to see where things went. At other times I find myself wanting to insert a comment. I’m enjoying listening to you, my friends…I am still connected

4. F. Maybe no creation God, but life evolved under Being’s watch. If Being is that big, then so did our solar system, and our galaxy. Did our universe develop as being saw? Is Being bigger than the universe? Is Being the universe? Is there anything bigger than the universe? I become less significant to the whole as the definition expands. Still I am at the center on MY universe or AM I? Maybe I AM only. No center, just exist

3. I have heard the Kyrie sung as a chant, almost like a mantra. Lord have mercy on me….not because I am a sinner or because I feel guilty or because Adam and Eve ate your stinkin’ apple (cripes, can’t you let it go already? talk about grudges). No, I am lost and need direction. Lord have mercy on me and show me the way. Won’t ya help me find it, puleeeeese? Won’t you help me open the door?

2. F. Busy at work. In my pause the thought occurs to me that maybe I should try to think of God seeing me rather than Being for now. I have now experienced Being but I want to try this experiment. What does God see if God gazes in my direction? I am one on may beings scurrying around. My life is tenuous, hanging on a whim. Yesterday a tornado watch while I was unknowingly cycling home. How quickly I can be snuffed out by Being/God…in an instant. That person near to me also, and the person next to that person.

1. TGT. [smile]. A new day to be alive

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I don’t have much to write about this morning. No coherent thoughts overnight or this morning—I was rushed,; I overslept. More rain again. Maybe the mind wants to settle down a little after yesterday which was a bit momentous for me although I tried for more. A funny thing–all the dreams of which I was aware last night were in SL format. This is odd because I have severely cut back my time on SL. It is a powerful medium. Well, I must go, is someone at the door?