25. nothing
24. Breath in breath out
23. Possible breakthrough thought…My block is that I am trying to hard to learn to live a Buhhdist philosophy. I seem to be trying to get the basic Buddhist principles out of my brain. I think these are the ideas that are lurking on the sidelines
22. It is late afternoon and I must stop for now. I can’t focus
21. I close my eyes and play with my forehead. No thoughts come to me
20. “Know then thyself, presume not God to scan”……why does Alexander Pope keep lurking every time I stop. I am letting him out of the brain here. “The proper study of mankind in man”. Begone now Mr. Pope. Shhhhh to the Tiger also lurking and growling.
19. Breathing in, out. Oxygen to replenish my brain cells. Carbon dioxide…old thoughts in there?
18. nothing this time
17. I am what I am and that’s all that I am. Was Popeye a Buddhist?
16. I am trying too hard. I am going back to focusing on my physical presence. Breath in, breath out
15. When does this exercise become a distraction? What am I seeking? I want to live a better life.
14. The Dalai Lama says the mind is devoid of intrinsic existence. It is not part of the body nor independent of the body. hmmmmmm
13. Bell rings again. Time to stop. The tiger, my partner on the trip to the mountaintop, is growling off to the side. Shhhhhhhhh. I know now it was a foolish idea to bring you along. Shhhhhhhh. Be still.
12. Thoughts–not formed, lurking there just beyond reach. Why am I doing this exercise anyway? I like the gong. Is that enought reason?
11. My focus again on being alive in thi space
10. Oh my here again so soon. nothing. I have been rereading Sunday’s session on mieditation and I can’t get it ouyt of my mind. that’s OK. It is in the right zone (http://playasbeing.wordpress.com/2008/06/08/pab-zen-and-being-nothing/
9. First pause since the group ended. nothing but a pause nevertheless
8. In the group…talking about we as stardust
7. Here in the group now. Talking about hidden messages and when they might be of use
6. nothing
5. The bell finally set correctly. Closing my eyes I again begin to feel the physical presence of my body. It is floating. Is this the first stage of sleep in my stressed state?
4. I stare at the little Buddha statue on my desk and it looks back at me. No thoughts.
3. My mind wants to focus on why I am here in this space, on this planet, in this universe. Is that part of the exercise. My atoms are borrowed and transitory. Have any been with me since the start of my journey on this planet? A scientific question.
2. Where is my Being. Is it in this space? I feel the air around my body defi ning where I am in the world—or does it
1. I feel my physical presence in the chair. I am neither light nor heavy but here, alive, a physical occupier of space
It is a hot morning and my body is physically stressed. I have set the mindfulness bell and I am all set to go. I am getting a bit more disciplined about the exercise.
