13. F. Feeling my body in this space
12. F. brnnnnnnnng. still cloudy
11. F. Very Cloudy right now, with slight chance of sever thunderstorms. Will clouds ever part?
10. F. Who has more “clouds” blocking inner mind? What are the “clouds” blocking inner mind?
9. F. Good just to break from work
8. F. Two big thunderstorms here this afternoon. Nature is awesome
7. F. What does the inner mind look like?
6. F. So many things in the way. Sigh
5. F. Who has “identifications” in the way? fears, desires, attachments, opinions, objects, hurts. Who is not seeing the identifications?
4. F. I am a bit surprised that my mind doesn’t want to focus this afternoon
3. F. I am alive for another day
2. F. NN
1. BrM. NN
* * * * * *
My brain has been swimming in ideas this morning as I took my morning bike ride and while I rushed through my chores eager to get to the typewriter. Now, as I finally brech the keyboard, words are failing me (or are the ideas not so great after all?).
Yesterday Fael pointed out to me that we shed our attachment to our identifications not the identifications themselves. This has begun to make more and more sense to me. Some things like fear we can’t shed.
Yesterday I recognized that I had an “identification” concerning the memory of my childhood “faith”. I have begun to see how I have clung to the idea that there was this golden period in my life when I was comfortable with God and then I lost it. I thought that somehow I needed to regain or find something equivalent to that. On some level I have been afraid I was making another attempt doomed to failure, and that I would fall short of seeing God…or the Buddha-likeness….or the inner mind…or the light, etc. Now that I have opened the box and taken a close look inside I recognize how imperfect and immature my thinking was back then. In other words, I am beginning to look at this from a very different angle.
“Some things like fear we can’t shed.”
It seems to me there is unhealthy fear and healthy fear. Unhealthy fear is when we are afraid of something that cannot actually harm us or of something we can do nothing to avoid. Healthy fear, on the other hand, can help us avoid real danger and take constructive steps to avoid that danger.
Aren’t many fears are simply rooted in delusions, distorted ways of looking at ourselves and the world around us? I think we can certainly get rid of the sources of those fears by learning to control our minds. Perhaps we should simply develop a healthy fear for those delusions and get rid of them!
Yes, Storm. So subtracting all fears is not the answer…discernment is needed on the first path