Thinking about what I have learned – 22nd Daily Log

There was a skip of a few days here. I took off for a few days so there is a gap both in the log and, for the most part, in my thinking. At least I was not conscious of thinking. I was able share things I learned about anger with someone. There were two interesting coincidences during my few days away.

There was a set of wind chimes on the porch where I was staying. At 6:02 pm there was a gust of wind and the chimes went off; this was my first night away from the Zen Retreat Group Meditation which starts at 6 PM (or so) which bells. This was one of the few times the bells chimed during the three days.

The second was at the ocean. I was walking along doing some meditation, trying the walking faru some, not all that successfully. I decided to just stop and turned toward the ocean, took a deep breath, and a three dolphins, rose up out of the water straight toward me a couple of hundred feet off shore. It was a truly awesome sight.

*     *     *     *     *     *     *     *

I am away for a few days and the blog will not be updated until Thursday or Friday.

Note to myself: – Perfect Enlightenment Sutra

Attachment – 21st Daily Log

13. F. Feeling my body in this space

12. F. brnnnnnnnng. still cloudy

11. F. Very Cloudy right now, with slight chance of sever thunderstorms. Will clouds ever part?

10. F. Who has more “clouds” blocking inner mind? What are the “clouds” blocking inner mind?

9. F. Good just to break from work

8. F. Two big thunderstorms here this afternoon. Nature is awesome

7. F. What does the inner mind look like?

6. F. So many things in the way. Sigh

5. F. Who has “identifications” in the way? fears, desires, attachments, opinions, objects, hurts. Who is not seeing the identifications?

4. F. I am a bit surprised that my mind doesn’t want to focus this afternoon

3. F. I am alive for another day

2. F. NN

1. BrM. NN

*     *     *     *     *     *

My brain has been swimming in ideas this morning as I took my morning bike ride and while I rushed through my chores eager to get to the typewriter. Now, as I finally brech the keyboard, words are failing me (or are the ideas not so great after all?).

Yesterday Fael pointed out to me that we shed our attachment to our identifications not the identifications themselves. This has begun to make more and more sense to me. Some things like fear we can’t shed.

Yesterday I recognized that I had an “identification” concerning the memory of my childhood “faith”. I have begun to see how I have clung to the idea that there was this golden period in my life when I was comfortable with God and then I lost it. I thought that somehow I needed to regain or find something equivalent to that. On some level I have been afraid I was making another attempt doomed to failure, and that I would fall short of seeing God…or the Buddha-likeness….or the inner mind…or the light, etc. Now that I have opened the box and taken a close look inside I recognize how imperfect and immature my thinking was back then. In other words, I am beginning to look at this from a very different angle.

Mixed Metaphors and Identification – 20th Daily Log

4. BrM. Time to sleep…”perchance to dream”. I had a second dream about SL last night but could not hold on to it. I was sitting with just one other avator and it seems we were talking quietly…no excitement. We were sitting next to a pile of papers suggested by the one in the zazen area of the Zen Retreat. This dream happened much further away from waking time. I am surprised I remember anything. If only there had been a chat log.

3. F.  ….and very glad I am to be alive today on this wonderful planet (a little late today for the thought but I have been enjoying today and the trees and wildflowers (the cowvetch) and birds……..)

2, BtM. I do need to learn what I should be doing with the “identifications” as I become mindful of them.

[not much today at the 15 minute stopping points but it has been a good day]

1. BrM. What other things are still there blocking the view?

[Went for a long Saturday morning walk this morning. Spent much of the time thinking but stopped for the 9 second pause every ince in a while to break the chain]

*     *     *     *     *     *

Rightly or wrongly I have been pursuing a goal, (actually two goals I just realized) and this morning I began to think of the heroes’ quest as a metaphor. It seems to work even with subtraction, for when the hero solves one problem, (subtracts one “identity”) then a new problem becomes apparent almost immediately. During the journey, the hero often is told about things that must be done, warned to be wary of certain things, and given tools (weapons) to solve some of the problems. Usually in the story, the hero can not succeed without the help of these “people who see clearly”. In the story, the hero confronts these problems one-by-one.

Then there is the metaphor of the three (or four) ages of man(kind): youth, adulthood and old age often expressed in varying ways, with varying messages, in paintings. When I was young I was taught a simple faith (Christianity) and felt very close to God. In fact I expected to spend a life in the church. As often happens to young people, doubts began to creep in about the central message, in this case, incarnation. I lost touch with God. I became very miserable and thought I was letting people down. I tried desperately for three years to rediscover that faith. Finally, with a deep sense of relief I was able to pack my spiritual self in a box and stick it on a shelf. I have been proud of that box (identity) called ex-Lutheran (or  wayward Lutheran, or whatever). The box has had slightly different names over the years. But I have kept it carefully dusted and enjoy seeing it sitting there on the shelf. Over time I became further disenchanted with the Christian concept of “sin”. But though I thought I had discarded this, it was pointed out to me that I may still be beating myself with a form of sin in the form of “character flaws”.

I mentioned in this blog that when I first decided to go to meditation, Adams, went to her favorite church and prayed for strength and guidance in this new quest. I now think that in some ways this was a concession to, or a metaphor for, my former identity and that former faith. I needed permission to go in a new direction. (incidently I felt that I received approval and was given the strength). At the same time, the sense of desperation left over from so many years ago has been resurrected and is an identity….and is in the way. Now I beginning to think that I may need to throw away this treasured box I have kept on the shelf for so many years.

This brings me back to the age metaphor. As an adult we become very busy, full of life, and feel a physical vitality (invincibility for some but not all). As we age and our bodies start to fall apart, we realize we need something to help us make the final transition (hopefully a long one). Many of the things that seemed so important now seem trivial. We can’t do some of the things we loved to do to relax ourselves (in my case tennis). Finding ways to understand these changes then is the unstated second part of my quest.

Finally…the inner self….the light…..God….our Buddha nature. I understand the clouds in the way: identifications, objects, opinions, fears and doubts. Like doubting Thomas, I want to see it so I know that it actually is there in me. I saw God when I was young. I have viewed it in others. How do I push my way through all these impediments?

*     *     *     *     *     *

Yesterday, at the 1 PM session, Moon, gave a poetical description of how meditation helped him to focus on a single branch of a tree, the branch moving in the wind. I am very new to meditation. I have had a similar experience after looking at Japanese paintings. I am now beginning to think about a museum visit being a form of meditation, heightening one’s sense of visual awareness.

Identification and Boxes – 19th Daily Log

19. BrM. I just had the thought that I am going to have to go back and read this log from the beginning in order to understand the path I have been taking the past few weeks. Now I am glad that I took the time to do this.

18. BrM. NN

17. BrM. Too many thoughts swimming around

16. BrM. Reminding myself: Living compassionately. What is in the way? Who is in the way? What is it that I still may not be seeing? Shedding identifications. What are these identifications? Desire, fear and their children: jealousy, frustration, impatience, what else? Building boxes for myself….break these down

15. BRM. NN

[break including 1 PM session]

14. F. NN

13. F. Where does frustration come in? That certainly originates in desire. Who is frustrated? Who is jealous? Who is fearful? Who has desires? Maybe the answer is not who so much as where do they reside? hmmm

12. F. Does jealousy also come from fear? It would seem it would originate with desire and then maybe fear comes in? In any case, jealousy is something that would get in the way

11. F. Where does jealousy fit in here? It derives from desire

10. F. Identification with: Telling myself I can’t do something because….. Identification with a certain state of mind…closing myself down, putting up barriers, building boxes for myself. Ah….is not “boxes” a better term than “identification”? I wonder

9. F. Thoughts Lurking

8. BrM. I just had a realization that some of the “Identifications” are in the way right now. I am resisting the message. Is this going to be the pattern for awhile?

7. BrM. NN. I discover my bell isn’t working because I forgot to turn on the speakers.

6. F. NN

5. F. Am I becoming impatient again? Specifically is my wanting to sum things up and finding a stopping or resting point a symptom of impatience? Hmm. I do need to tidy up some things in RL, I think.

4. F. Pema reminded me of some things this morning, specifically about shedding identifications which might be in the way. What identifications do I need to shed?

[break for morning session-why isn;t my bell working?]

3. F. NN. hmmm Bell never started this morning….bit longer gap than planned. Pushing myself in RL..break good

2. BrM. NN. Caught up with logs in the 15 minutes

1. BrN. A slow don from my rushing around doing things this morning. Not the best as far as technique but a good pause nevertheless.

* * * * *

It is enough to be alive. I am resting a little from PaB while I try to catch up on tother things I have been neglecting.

Stepping Back a Little – 18th Daily Log

11. Brm. NN

10. BrM. NN.Break from doing other things

9. BrM. NN

8. F. I’m just not very focused on this today. hmmmmm

7. F. Who has fear and desire. What are the other things that get in the way for living compassionately? anger, sadness (sometimes)…hmmmm desire covers alot of ground

7. BrM. NN. trying to multitask on a host of RL porjects. The stop is a welcome rest

6. BrM. NN

5. BrM. – NN

4. F. NN. My brain wants to rest

3. BrM – NN

[long break including morning session - used Storm's Faru Walking Meditation on way to doctor]

2. F. I have something a bit stressful to do this morning and I am enjoying the peacefulness.

1. F. I wonder what else there beside fear and desire. Are they emotions or something deeper. Anger is an emotion. Fear seems to be in that category. Desire seems to be deeper. Is it?

* * * * *

Good. I remember that I have another day of life to experience today. It is enough to just be alive.

Fear and Desire – 17th Day

5, BrM. Good Night World.

4. F. Who has fear and desire?

[another long break]

3. F. Who has fear and desire? Does the fact that it is fear and desrie getting in the way instead of “self” make it easier. Are they easier to deal with? control? subtract?

2. F. I appear to have mixed up “self” with things like fear and desire. If so, that is another thing I did not see. Still whatever we call it, it was in the way. Begone!

[Much time away today. I seem to be running behind more frequently these days since I started in PaB]

1. F. Q=Who is able to live compassionately?

* * * * *

Another absolutely beautiful June morning to be alive.

[Reminder that I am going to use more abbreviations to cut down on stopping time. There is a tab on the bar line with abbreviations now]

Going Beyond Not Seeing and Dream Interpretation – 16th day

[ Note: Last evening I flipped through a copy of the Bible with the though "Who is able to live compassionately". I t was an exercise badly flawed. I didn't remove the verses because this is a log and reflects thought at the time. I started with Proverbs, moved to Psalms, then to the John and finally to Romans. The verses are taken out of context]

Adapt yourselves no longer to the pattern of this present world, but let your minds be remade and your whole nature thus transformed. [Romans 12:2]

Love in all sincerity, loathing evil and clinging to the good. Let Love for our brotherhood breed warmth and mutual affection. Give pride of place to one another in esteem [Romans 12:10]

17. ZRM. He who has clean hands and a pure heart,
who has not set his mind on falsehood,
and has not committed perjury. [Psalm 24]

[I have added a page of abbreviations - see bar above. I am going to use these to try to take less time during the exercise]

16. Focusing. Who is able to live compassionately?

15. BrM. I don’t want to stop this time

[long break - I am seriously considering taking a little time off from trying to blog every stop. I would like to see what it feels like to break like everyone else]

14. Focusing. I am feeling a bit calmer than I have for the past couple of days

13. Focusing. Compassion/Love

12. Focusing. There’s more there

11. Focusing. Thoughts lurking

10. Focusing. So it would seem to depend on cultivating the state of mind. How does one do that?

9. Focusing. This is a quote from Stim yesterday at the (Monday) 1 pm PaB session: “…when we can take responsibility for the subtle actions of the mind that get in the way of the Reality involved in Great Compassion, then the latter is clearly available”. We were discussing things that get in the way, including intentions.

8. Focusing. I am still thinking about the message from my sub-conscious. One would have thought the “self” resided there. Whqat is the “self”? The desires seem to reside in the “self”. Also jealousy. Anger, not sure…not so simple. hmmmm

7. Focusing. Breathing. Alive. I am alive for another wonderful day

6. Focusing. In a way, my “self” is a little bit unmasked. Will I find a new mask? Be mindful of Larger Entity. Compassion

5. BrM. What do I do now?

4. BrM. I missed a few stopping points including those during the 7 am PaB session

3. BrM. I wonder if I need to begin cataloging ways “self” is in the way. How do I do this, i.e work on this issue?

2. BrM. calming myself now

1. Question: What am I NOT seeing? Answer: The degree to which, and the ways “self” is getting in the way of living compassionately. It is a painful answer because I will never fully know the answer.

My “self” is badly bruised and humiliated this morning

* * * * *

Question: Who is NOT seeing? answer: The person who can not let go of things. The person who lets emotions get in the way. The person who allows “self” to get in the way. I did not turn the “seeing” question enough last night. This, then, leads to an insight about the dream I recounted yesterday.

Dream Interpretation

At first, I just recorded the dream as one should in a log like this. Other than than noting it interesting, I did not think about it too much. We discussed my dream at yesterdays 7 am meeting and raised a number of questions. The group was at a disadvantage because I did not have any explanation myself. I am not a skillful analyzer even of my own dreams but I recognize that any analysis must start with what I see.

The initial group scene is like an introduction and saying that “this is about my time in PaB”. I think the contest and events thereafter are the important parts of the dream. The imagery will be very familiar to anyone who has spent time in second life, possibly a bit misleading to anyone who hasn’t. A few people put ejection scripts into the buildings or on their land. There is a warning, but especially in a building, there is not time to get out. The ejection is sudden and rude. One’s AV is sitting on the ground in an undignified way and one is thinking “they didn’t have to do that. I didn’t mean any harm I would have gotten out if I had known it was a private space”

One of the wonderful things about PaB is the egalitarian idea behind it. There is no hierarchy as there is in so many groups. This is noted in the dream. Although the magicians are very powerful, I have a sense of belonging. The magicians are a bit metaphorical. In one session I had referred to scripts as magic and those writing them as magicians. In my circles. While I am fully appreciative of the technical skills of so many people in PaB, I think the “powerful magicians” are a metaphor for the education, wisdom and knowledge of people in the group. They are willing to share that “magic”.

I believe the first contest is simply a discussion in the PaB group. As an observer I should be weighing ideas, and I do that in the dream by noting that one of the arguments, that appears to be in ascendancy, is not fairly constructed, or something to that effect (I am interpreting). Then my “self” enters in and I begin to form a bond with the one person and begin to exclude the other. There is a message about making judgments about people, thus excluding them. By doing this, I lose the chance to be enriched by their ideas and experience. Most important is the danger of allowing the “self” to get in the way. The “self” stuff starts to get worse. I think the sub-conscious was trying to get me into the box and first tries the bathroom ruse, a natural need, but the message of “self” is a bit lost. A better way is to set up a temptation, in this case the irresistible temptation to view a temple…with all kinds of metaphorical sub-meanings. My “self” can not resist the chance to see the temple. My “self” is then rudely ejected. Then to make clear the dangers of continuing to allow my “self” to be in control, I begin to plot revenge which, of course, can get very ugly. I am sure it would have had I not been woken up.

It is possible that it is the “self” that is being rejected, rather than the whole me ejected from the group. If that is the case, it is important that I know the difference.

There is more of a message to me that I see, but I do not feel comfortable discussing that part. Maybe some other time. But these also involve “self”. OUCH! OUCH AGAIN!

Dreaming – 15th Day

At meditation at the zen retreat, it occurred to me that maybe I should turn some of these recent questions around and see what they look like:
Who does not let go of the self?
Who does not let go of things (possessions)?
Who lets emotions get in the way?
Who allows “self” to get in the way of living compassionately

27. BrM. Seeing. Compassion. Self. Suffering. …just seeing these here together for some unrelated reason is recalling “Faith, Hope and Love but the greatest  of these is Love”   Compassion/Love

26. BrM. Am I NOT seeing WHAT I need to let go of The self? things?

25. Focusing Am I NOT seeing how my emotions are getting in the way?

24. BrM. Am I NOT seeing how my mind is not letting go?

23. BrM. The self gets in the way of living compassionately

22. BrM. What am I NOT seeing?

21. Focusing. nothing now. just getting back

[break for 1 pm session and RL activities; discussion with Stim]

20. Focusing. what am I not seeing?

19. Focusing. The happy birds are gone and in their place waves of colro. This may just be a sign that I am very tired.

18. Focusing. I see happy birds singing….are they from the Cinderella movie? Maybe I need help with the multitasking

17. BrM. Multitasking in RL. Just a pause-not thoughts

16. Focusing. PaB and SL are more interesting than the things I am putting off in RL right now

15. Focusing. What am I not seeing?

14. Focusing. ? not seeing ? I do not see the blood flowing in my veins. I do not see the thoughts in my head. I do not see my life line on earth…only what has happened so far. Death. There is a Clancy Brothers song, which is sung about a funeral and notes that with every passing, we are moving closer to the front of the line. I do not see where I am in the line. But I do know that I am alive this day. I have been forgetting that thought in the morning for the past few days. I do not see what will be after my death.

13. Focusing. Feeling the breath gently leave my body

12. Focusing. I am not seeing where this is all taking me

11. Focusing. time passing very quickly today

10. BrM. The breathing meditation routine always takes a bit more concentration on the routine itself. The mind has less chance to be active. What am I NOT seeing that is between me and my original goals?

9. BrM. The purpose of all this effort really comes down to being a better person and to reduce one’s own unhappiness and discontent. These two goals overlap but are different too.

8. Focusing. Finished reading through the newly posted logs. I am thinking that my mind is being a little lazy or that it is not staying focused on what I have learned so far. It forgets that I am part of a larger entity. Is it possible to live life just thinking of ourselves as a part of the whole rather than individuals? Does this larger entity have anything to do with Being? Is that part of dropping the “I”?

7. Focusing. catching up on the logs. this is a break from that. no thoughts.

6. Focusing. my mind still seems to be at rest

5. BrM. What am I still NOT seeing? Is the dream relevant to the question?

[break for 7 am PaB session where we discussed my dream. I wasn't prepared to say what I thought about it]

4. Focusing. nothing

3. Focusing. nothing

2. Focusing. nothing…mind resting

1. BrM. Always easier to start out with the breathing.

* * * * *

There were a good number of hits yesterday and I am a bit concerned because I feel as if I was very muddled in my thinking yesterday. It is too bad because I began being more mindful of the larger entity.

In some ways I feel as if I have been on a wonderful, two and a half week retreat and need to get back to life–I have things that need tending– but I am having trouble leaving. There may be two reasons. 1) I think I have an unresolved question that I must answer first. 2) I may be afraid of losing what I have learned if I do not stay engaged. Still it has been pointed out to me that this is a long process and I must find some kind of sustainability.

The Dream

It has been a very long time since I last remember dreaming and even longer since I remembered a dream vividly enough to write it down. It is rare when I am awakened suddenly from an interesting dream. This one takes place in Second Life and in PaB. I remember sitting around in a big circle with many other AVs, much like the area in front of the Zen Retreat tea house. I do not remember what was said, if anything.

The meeting ended and I was wandering around. In a clearing surrounded by trees were two gods who were powerful magicians. In appearance they looked like guardians or kings from a Buddhist Pentad or Septat. Although frightening in appearance and very powerful, these gods were very gentle and I felt very safe in their presence. I remember feeling a sense of belonging.

The gods were engaged in a friendly contest to see which was the most powerful. They asked me if I would be the judge. The first test was American baseball: the one god chose to be a pitcher and the other the batter. They wrote scripts to make a batter and pitcher, modeled after real life professional players. The one god, who had the pitcher, was dominating. I began to think this was unfair because, if all is equal, a good pitcher always has an advantage over a good batter because the pitcher knows what he is throwing. So I began to feel sorry for the god who had the batter and told the pitcher god that this was not a fair contest. This created a bit of a bond between that batting god (who had been losing) and myself.

They began a new contest to build a complex of structures. Like a 19c Beaux-Arts competition, there was a list of items to include in the complex. I only remember two – a bathroom and a temple. They set out to build their complexes inside big boxes and I set there, watching their movement, just as we see in SL sometimes when we are to far away to rezz a person. I get a little confused here but I think there was a first version and then a correction to a second version for the beginning of the next part. [This often happens to me in dreams, almost like my sub-conscious is working out something]. In the first version I needed to go to the bathroom and asked the batter god if I could use his. In the second version, the god, who had been the batter in the first contest, wanted to show off his temple to me. I entered the door of the box and saw the temple. As I was about to enter the temple, the god’s female consort, who happened to be passing by, saw me, got jealous, and rudely ejected me high into the air to a spot about 15 yards away. I remember sitting there… with sticks and leaves in my hair, my clothes torn, sitting in an undignified position, and thinking “she didn’t have to do that. I was no threat to her. I just wanted to look at the temple”. I began plotting revenge on the goddess but then I was awakened from the dream.

Compassion, Love, Faith and Seeing- 14th Day

8. BrM. Nothing this time.

7. BrM. Nothing there this time

6. BrM. Will my visual skills help me find what I am still missing or is it abstract or is it a metaphor? Is something blocking my vision? Is that what I need to subtract?

6. Focusing. Summation: I AM part of a larger entity, and I did NOT see that clearly. That is a partial answer but I have been told there is more. Also I do know that I don’t completely understand what it is I should be subtracting.

5. Focusing. Reading PaB materials now

4. BrM. What am I not seeing? What do I need to subtract?

[More time off from the blog here working on the question elsewhere]

3. BrM. Moving on now….  What do I still not see?”

[I have learned that don't have this quite right. I took how the understanding of the larger entity applies very narrowly to anger and compassion and started to apply that more broadly. Using it to deal with anger, it becomes a helpful tool. As such I must learn when to apply it in real life. My mistake appears to be that I applied this in a larger sense, moving into a new sense of reality. Also I have never fully understood the concept of subtraction and so I forget to apply that as well. The purpose and applications of subtraction are another thing I do NOT see.]

3. The bell sounds as I end the last sentence of 2. Focus. On one level I am at peace and on another level a bit disturbed.

2. Focusing. Why am I not exhilarated this time? First I know that I knew the answer already. More importantly, this knowledge seems to carry awesome responsibilities with it. How can one ever begin to LIVE compassion for all living beings? It is an awesome responsibility. Somehow dealing with sin is easier; just confess and ask God for forgiveness and then move on. This knowledge then brings me back to my original starting point How does one live Buddhism, stay on the “path”? Is that my next question I wonder. Ah, is there something else I do not see? I have learned to see that I am part of a larger entity. Is it the connection between compassion and the larger entity that I do no see. Or it just that I need to fully accept that I need to live more compassionately to all living beings. Or it simply, what do I do about it? TGhe questions keep getting harder.

1. BrM. Just settling down now after writing

*     *     *     *     *

In yesterday’s abbreviated post. I wrote of some things I had learned about anger in my two weeks in PaB. Last night at the Saturday 7 pm session, Stim and Bertram recounted the story of a monk who was being tortured [In Bertram's words "this was in Tibet, and in prison there, the guards did unspeakable things to him... a cattle prod in his mouth--knocking out all of his teeth... he did not feel anger but compassion. his compassion grew deeper with each torture"]. As I understand it this morning, Stim and Bertram’s were saying that using compassion in a larger sense, understanding the greater reality, helps us to transcend our anger. Those who are causing the anger are ignorant of the larger perspective. We can be compassionate about their ignorance. This brings of concept of anger and compassion to a whole new level of thinking.

It seems to me this morning (note the qualitification recognizing how rapidly I changing my views), that this is the spiritual side of Buddhism and not all that different from Chistrian love, and even a belief in God, which allows people to transcend suffering for something larger than themselves. This Buddhist concept also requires a certain leap of faith that there is a larger reality than oneself. For some people, this larger sense might just be family. It might be a village, or a company, or a political entity. It can be a country. It can be a religion. Or it can be the entire world. And I think I understand the Buddhist concept to be even more inclusive. There is Bodhisattva compassion–dedicating one’s whole life to alleviating suffering for all living beings.

The past few days I have been working on the question “What am I NOT seeing?” I had been skirting close to the question. One answer is that I am part of a larger entity.

Extraordinary Week – 13th Day Log

2. BrM. Just finished reading most of the newly posted PaB logs. Sometimes after doing that I feel a bit muddled. I porbably should try to read one session at a time.

1. BrM.  Need to refocus on what I am not seeing. I seem to remember having thoughts on that today

[I have been doing various forms of meditation today on odd places with varying results. Some were short like 9 seconds and some were uo to a few minutes. I had no thoughts during these, just awareness or peacefulness]

note to myself: 6/1

*     *     *     *     *

I am a little late getting started having been out walking in the woods for the better part of the day. I spent some time reflecting on the 24 hours I have spent the past 7 days in conversation with PaB members, either as a group or individually. I did not count in the personal or playful discussions not related to either PaB or Buddhism. There is no way I would have done this in real life. The difficulty is preventative except to the most determined. Also I have talked with Zen, Tantric and Theravada Buddhists, also not easily done in one week in real life. I am filled with gratitude for the patience and kindness shown to me.

I atended two sessions on anger this week and read one from a previous session. I was focused on other things at the time and was not all that open to the discussion, maybe even slightly annoyed that the subject kept coming up. However in one of those sessions someone spoke of anger being something we should not shun from. On the contrary, when it rose up, the trick was to just be mindful of it and then let it go. This may be the most useful piece of advice that I was able to take back to real life. A number of times since then, I have had that experience and just let it pass. In the past I would try to justify the anger by focusing on what someone had done and need to exaggerate the offense to justify the anger. What a useful new tool!!!

While in some grasslands today, I also tried a form of walking meditation (F—- Meditation) mentioned by Storm last week. I am intrigued because it is a bit poetical. It is [to be continued]